Tron Carter’s “Law & Order”
John Oliver had a fantastic bit on taxes, and I meant to post it on April 15th. I forgot, somehow, but then resolved to post it anyway, albeit a few days late. Now we are well into May, and I realize that I completely spaced this post. So even though this post may not have the same punch as it does on tax day, when we lament the amount of money that we have to pay to fund Trump’s increased security needs or Jeff Sessions’ quixotic renewal of the absurd “war on drugs,” it’s still worth taking a look.
Take anything — my passport, my coin collection, and my money (if you can find any) — just don’t mess with my character development…On second thought, sometimes a good ransacking is good for a writer, especially when stuck, perhaps when slugging through the middle of a project. And maybe that’s why we have readers and editors, to shake things up, to shake up our mentality, to use a bit of dynamite to open a new tunnel that leads to a new view.
Having covered the sordid details yesterday, I thought it might be entertaining to recount just how it was that I managed to come to the decision to go under the knife and entrust my testicles to a stranger. For years I knew that a vasectomy was what I wanted to do, but I hesitated. It’s one thing to know in your head, it’s another to actually do it, to make a decision, knowing that there’s no going back. It’s all so very final, this vasectomy thing. It can be reversed, but reversing it is expensive and complicated, or so I read. And so, I vascilated, putting it off, until one night when the answer came to me, in a dream.
When going under the knife for a vasectomy, it is my own personal preference that a surgeon stay on point and only engage in the most generic forms of small talk. But that’s just me. The procedure itself is short, simple, and mostly painless. Even so, the target of the surgery is the testicles. Not around the testicles, not in the general vicinity of the testicles. No, they’re going after your balls, the holy of holies, as it were, the most private of privates.